Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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