I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
