You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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