I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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