That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i came on her dog
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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