its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
