guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
