i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
