im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
where does the pee come out of this thing
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
