Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
