Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
