Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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