She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
