I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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