I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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