Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
did i walk over a car last night?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
