The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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