If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
