Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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