I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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