i just wanna soil my oats bro
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
only if we run a train.
done.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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