Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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