well you can't waste a boner
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
