I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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