you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
