I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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