Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
