I just saw a hot homeless man
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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