Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
