Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
