He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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