the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
FUCK WHALES
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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