Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
