I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
