I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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