God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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