His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
