My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
