I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i need some magic done to my vagina
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
