I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
