i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
