God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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