who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
another moral hangover. fuck.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
