P.S. I can't hear my feet
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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