you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Panties = found
Randomize
