You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
