Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
