the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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