he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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