so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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