Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
