im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
