He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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