You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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