Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
