So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
